Loving What We Hate
There is so much to love. Creation, Jesus, God’s Word, God’s will, and other people. So why aren’t we “smitten?” Why aren’t our spirits constantly buoyed by the glory and wonder of it all?
Because there is also so much to hate. About creation, Jesus, God’s Word, God’s will, and other people. ”Hate” is a strong word, I know. In the Bible “hate” has a wide range of meanings. Sometimes it indicates a strong abhorrence for something or someone, sometimes just an aversion; at other times it simply indicates a preference.
As far a creation is concerned, I’ve had times when I’ve ‘hated’ mesquitoes and black flies; hot, humid days; or having to sit on a stalled chairlift when the temperature is 10 below, not counting the 30 mile per hour winds. I hate what that cyclone did to the people of Myanmar and what that earthquake did to the people in China. I wonder if New Orleans will ever be the same after Katrina.
Hating things about creation makes sense. But hating things about Jesus? Both Jews and Gentiles in the first century hated the very thought of giving their allegiance to someone who had been crucified. I both love and hate the fact that Jesus’ teachings are hardly ever straightforward. I hate it that I can’t heal people a lot of the time, even though it’s my job to represent him, and he said that he would give us whatever we asked if we prayed in his name. I don’t like always having to explain him, or defend him.
I know that a lot of people have difficulty loving the Bible, and if they were really honest, would admit that there are some things they actually hate about it. I understand. There are truths in the Bible that we would die for. But we hate the fact that we never know if what we’re going to read on a particular day is going to strengthen our faith or rattle it. Maybe we realize that our doubts may likely be based on a misinterpretation of the text, but then there’s hating how reading the Bible makes us feel stupid some of the time.
It’s pretty obvious how a person would have a love/hate relationship with the will of God; especially with what theologians call his permissive will. That’s the stuff that he supposedly allows instead of causes. The cyclone, earthquake and hurricane we just talked about are good examples of what’s not to like about God’s will. Even if he didn’t cause these natural catastrophes, he knew about them, even before they happened. Even the insurance companies assume that God is as responsible as anyone when they call these “acts of God.”
Finally, there are the things we hate about other people — those major offenses as well as minor irritants that short-circuit our attempts to love them, even when we know it’s the right thing to do, even when we know that God would be really pleased if we loved them. I also know that I really should like hard-boiled eggs. But if you were to insist that I ate one of those deviled eggs you brought to a church potluck, I would probably throw-up in your plate. (So don’t ask.)
The psalmist wrote: “Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord?” Jesus may have had this verse in mind when he said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.” So, basically, love what you hate. That’s how we can love the Father. That’s how we can love like our Father. I have a hard enough time just learning to accept what I hate, must less love it. Both Jesus and Paul go so far as to tell us to rejoice over what we hate (e.g. Matthew 5:11,12 and I Thessalonians 5:16-18). No wonder biblical scholars call this an “upside down kingdom.”
This is what I was getting at yesterday when I suggested that if we’re to love God’s Word, God’s will and other people, we have to love them unconditionally; because if we start coming up with conditions, love won’t have a chance.
Take the Bible as an example. Near the beginning of his ministry, the prophet Jeremiah exclaimed, “When your words came, I ate them; they were my joy and my heart’s delight!” Later he started to dread whenever the “word of the Lord” came to him. At that point in Israel’s story, Jeremiah knew that any word from God was likely to contain more bad news than good news, which usually meant more time for him in some cistern or the king’s dungeon. What got him through was knowing that current events were not the end of the story.
How can we come to love what we hate? Let me offer a few suggestions.
First, we learn to love people and things as a whole. I would guess that all of us are still experiencing the effects of modernity. The modern period was the child of the Enlightenment, which gave us the tools to dissect and compartmentalize almost anything, including ourselves. It’s hard not to see everything and everyone in terms of their parts instead of as a whole. A good example of holistic loving is John 3:16: “God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son….” The world. The whole world. That kind of perspective, much less that kind of love, is almost incomprehensible to the modern mind. To some extent, it was to the ancient mind as well. The ancient mind could think of a nation as a whole or a race as whole, but not the world as a whole. For first century Jews there were two worlds — Jews and Gentiles. John, the evangelist, tells us that God loved the one world that contained both these worlds. The gospel of the New Testament says that God means to renew and restore the whole world, and even to unite heaven and earth. (”Thy kingdom come, they will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”)
Second, we need to look beyond the things we hate. (At this point I’m using the word “hate” to mean simply “having some aversion to.”) I’m not saying pretend those things aren’t there. Nor am I suggesting you try to make yourself like the things you hate. We’re all sinners. Bad things happen in the world. Again, there is a lot not to like. But by God’s grace and power, we can look beyond what is unlovely to what is lovely. As Paul writes: “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).
Finally, look for God. For example, when I read Scripture during my morning devotions, instead of dwelling on those words or ideas or parts in the story that I don’t understand or don’t seem to apply to my life, I notice the verse or part of the story that sparks an inner response. That’s where I plant myself. That’s where I look for God to speak into my life. That’s where I look for God.
When I accept and embrace the whole of what’s happening (without denying there are parts I don’t like), I’m free to look for how the Father is blessing me, what Jesus is trying to teach me, and where the Spirit is leading me. It’s because I have the whole Trinity that I can love whoever and whatever.
The reason I have to learn to love what I hate is because what I hate is always part of what I love. It’s a package deal. When Abba adopted me as his son, he knew it was a package deal. By loving me, he’s loving what he hates, because what he hates in me is part and parcel of what he loves.
I realize this post is kind of deep. Of course, it’s all deep. Then again, a person doesn’t have to figure out how deep the water is, or know what’s living and moving beneath the surface, in order to swim. The key to swimming is knowing how: looking beyond what we hate and dwelling on what we can love; looking for God, always looking for God.
